FARGO — Mike Smith, a veteran of the Air Force, has transformed nearly four decades of personal struggle with mental illness and addiction into a message of hope and redemption. Recently, he published his book, The Gutter Gospel, which compiles his reflections on living with bipolar disorder and the journey toward healing.
For 35 years, Smith diligently recorded his experiences in a journal, detailing the pain of rejection and the challenges of his mental health. “I journaled for 35 years, when I had nobody to actually even share it with,” he explained. Now, as an author and podcaster, he aims to reach a wider audience, sharing his story to inspire others facing similar battles.
Smith’s commitment to helping others remains strong, even as his visibility increases. He recently declined a significant opportunity to pitch his story to the Christian film industry, choosing instead to volunteer at Seeds of Hope in Dilworth, where he assists those in need of food. This decision reflects his dedication to serving the less fortunate in his community.
His journey has not been without hardship. Having experienced periods of isolation, including time spent in a padded cell at the North Dakota State Hospital, Smith understands the struggles of feeling like an outcast. He believes deeply in the power of God’s grace and the importance of helping others find their purpose.
In one poignant chapter of The Gutter Gospel, Smith recounts a dream in which Jesus reveals a collection of tears in a place called the Sea of Tears. “Jesus said to me, ‘Mike, do you see that pile of muddy pennies behind you? Take one out and wash it in the Sea of Tears,’” Smith recalled. This dream solidified his mission to help others realize their worth, even when they feel like they are worth little more than a “muddy penny.”
Smith’s personal history is marked by significant trauma. He faced profound loss at the age of 12 when his father was fired from work, culminating in his father’s death from a heart attack. This event triggered Smith’s first suicide attempt. Over the years, he encountered numerous challenges, including being discharged from the military and struggling with addiction.
Despite these setbacks, Smith insists that his life is a testament to the persistent presence of hope. While in a psychiatric unit, a fellow patient compared him to Job, stating, “You’ve lost everything. But one day God’s going to bless you beyond measure.” Such affirmations provided Smith with a glimmer of faith during dark times, reinforcing his belief that recovery is possible.
His story has garnered attention and support from his community, particularly among fellow veterans and church members. Kirk Seltzer met Smith a few months ago at a men’s prayer group. Their friendship blossomed, with Seltzer recalling how Smith’s willingness to lend a hand during difficult moments deepened their bond.
Seltzer described Smith as initially imposing, standing at 6-foot-5, but noted the warmth and sincerity beneath his exterior. Their shared experiences have fostered a strong connection. “We hit a lot of prayer meetings and talk about his past, my past, and we just seem to understand each other real well,” he said.
Smith’s involvement in his community extends beyond informal gatherings. He is pursuing a role as a jail chaplain, a position Seltzer believes suits him well given his understanding of the complexities of human emotion and trauma. “He’s going to fit in well there with the emotional range you run into in jails,” Seltzer noted.
Another friend, Eric Johnson, met Smith at a Jail Chaplains event. Their discussions often revolve around overcoming life-controlling issues, and Johnson expressed admiration for Smith’s resilience in the face of adversity. Following the death of a mutual friend, Smith’s faith and commitment to his community only grew stronger.
Smith’s journey serves as a reminder that transformation is possible, even for those who have faced significant obstacles. He emphasizes that everyone has the potential for redemption. “We’ve all been in the gutter to one degree or another,” he stated. “The road to redemption is God’s grace, love, patience, and mercy to pull you through, giving you a purpose to share your story.”
For those interested in exploring Smith’s story further, The Gutter Gospel is available for reading on his website, where visitors can also find links to his podcasts. To support his outreach initiatives aimed at helping others in need, contributions can be made through his GoFundMe page, titled “Mike Smith’s Mission of Love and Recovery.”
Smith’s commitment to his community and dedication to sharing his experiences continue to inspire hope and foster connections among those navigating similar struggles. Through his work, he exemplifies the profound impact of compassion and understanding in the journey toward healing.
